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I happened onto Moses' most recent song right after I got back from an afternoon in the Heathen Canyon.

I've been feeling anxious, restless, and stressed lately and I don't know why. I've been explaining to people that its because I'm in limbo. For lots of reasons right now I'm in absolute limbo. Things don't always feel right and I'm not always content. I haven't been able to relax. Oh but for the Canyon. I was so relaxed, content, and happy playing a leisurely round of golf, and then made Amy sit hungry as I relaxed and sat to wait and watch for the big group of golfers we had played past earlier. I sat content in a lawn chair, chatting and petting the dogs. The lifestyle, good people (and their philosophy as Moses puts it) are just right for me, I just can't do it permanently yet.

I refuse to be a crazy work-a-holic when I grow up, but for right now it might be a good thing. There are so many things to learn and get better at right NOW. I also party and have fun as hard at I work so I think at least that is balanced right now. This fall I am running the voter registration drive at school, lobbying for four really important high education issues in the capital, and debating and speaking all over the place. All three of these things align perfectly with any future endeavors I might pursue.

I am not sure what I want to do, or what I will end up doing when I grow up. But I am sure, that in whatever capacity, I want a significant portion of my life to be committed to public service.

I have been working at 100 mph all summer. Sometimes it leaves me tired. Sometimes it makes me restless when I get a chance to relax, but that goes away in the Canyon ( : I feel so good and productive after all of that hard work. I know people all over the state, and I am going to know even more by the end of this school year. These people are doing wonderful things for Oregonians. They are making meaningful impacts and combating people who have only their individual interests in mind. These people are acquaintances and friends. These people will help find me jobs. Ha. Don't you love politics?

Seriously I like what I've chosen to do. Protecting the community treasure and convincing people that democracy requires a social society and participation sounds like a challenge I'm up for.

I want to do this. I want to work in DC on the hill. I want to run a campaign in Oregon, win, and be rewarded with a job as a legislative aid. I want a law degree. I want a clerkship in the 9th Circuit Court of Appeals. I want to work for all of these things, step back and see where the world takes me.

Then I want to help carry a keg of a good IPA, pour myself a beer, and plop down on a chair to think while I wait for my friends to get back to dinner and the campfire.